Extended Family Living

I heard the other day people were turning back to extended family living. I think this is a great idea and I don't know why it ever changed in the first place. When I was a child back in the seventies, there was always some obscure relative living with us. My paternal grandmother lived with us until she died. All my siblings at some point during their family life lived with my mom. At one time or another I had cousins and uncles who lived with us. My great uncle lived with us for many years and I loved that man with all my heart! This was better in my opinion because when my mom was single there was someone to share the workload with. We had someone to share expenses. And there was always someone around for me to talk to and to keep an eye on me. I miss those days. I would love nothing better than to have my children and their spouses live at home with us. As long as we were in the country with a big old house so we weren't tripping over each other and there was always a way to get privacy just like when I was a kid.

I don't know why our society ever moved away from extended family living. It's much cheaper for grandparents to live in the home and help with the kids and housework while the younger generation works than it is to throw them in an old folks home. If my mother were still alive I would live with her in a New York second! In times of economical hardship it is much cheaper to share living expenses than trying to make it on your own. Take my oldest and her husband for instance. If we had a big enough house and we lived together, they wouldn't be struggling to make their college loan payments and we wouldn't be struggling to make the rent. And if they had kids, they wouldn't have to pay a sitter because I am home all the time anyway which then means more money in the house. People who live this way are on to something, really! Every part of the family contributes to the wealth of the household and the younger generation knows that after the old folks die they are going to be caretakers of the estate for the next generation. Then when the third generation is old enough they can help out with the household chores and so on. As the children go off to college, they get into different things and everything they get into is a potential help to the homestead. If one becomes a lawyer, the family doesn't have to worry about paying legal fees. If one becomes an auto mechanic, well then they can contribute mechanical help to the household and so on. Less money being spent outside the household and more money to go into the homestead and the more the next generation has to inherit. This is the way to build wealth for the working class. Yes it takes more money to feed, cloth, and keep warm more people, but if most of the food is being raised by the older and youngest generation, then food isn't too big of an issue.

The only problem with extended family living is that you have to set the ground rules. Privacy, like no one is allowed in someone else's bedroom, is a major concern. Pulling one's own weight is another concern. My mom was forever helping out different family members. My great uncle who lived with us for a while, bought a riding lawn mower and took over the yard work as his contribution (we had about an acre of overgrown field which he turned into a lawn and greatly increased curb appeal) plus he helped pay bills. However, there were other family members who were not as considerate. Sometimes we got stuck with the bill and someone saved their money until they had enough to get back out on their own without helping us out for our trouble. In these instances resentment builds and usually ruins a relationship. Before allowing family members to move in the ground rules should be agreed to and enforced once said family members move in.

My oldest is already on her own so to speak and I doubt she will ever agree to come back home, but I have high hopes for the next two:) The problem with my oldest is she hasn't been in the country since she was very young. She likes the conveniences of the city and doesn't want to loose it. The country has a whole different take on life, or at least it did when I was there. I think A will do very well in the country, but she will have to learn to get along better with her younger sibling. V I believe will do extraordinary in the country. She has the imagination and energy required for a country life:) She will miss having kids her age living so close, but I think a few acres of land, a couple slumber parties(camp outs in the country), and a few animals will help with the social withdrawal!